Five teachers with a combined 90 years of experience share advice for parents of two - to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best from Your Child I worry that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At school she cleans up her toys, lays her shoes, and is entirely self indulgent at potty time. In the home, she yells when I ask her to pick up anything, insists I join her in the restroom whenever she has to go, and recently has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her instructor understands something that I don't. But then, what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my kid better for everyone else than for me? The simple answer: Your kid tests her limits with you because she trusts you'll love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool instructors ' playbook to get the best from your child. We requested teachers from around the country for their hints so listen up and take notes! .
Don't delay discipline
If you have to reprimand your child, do so once you see her misbehaving, advises Buss. Occasionally I will hear parents say, 'Wait until we get home...,' but at the time you're house, your child has forgotten the episode. Likewise, canceling Saturday's zoo excursion because of Thursday's tantrum won't prevent potential outbursts; it'll only feel like arbitrary, undeserved punishment to your child,
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Encourage teamwork.
If your kid is fighting over a toy with a different child, set a timer for 5 minutes, indicates Buss. Inform one child he could have the toy till he hears the buzzer, then it will be another child's turn.
Resist doing for her what she can do herself.
While it might be faster and simpler to do it yourself, it won't help to make your child more self-sufficient. Quick suggestion: Appeal for her sense of pride, indicates Donna Jones, a preschool teacher at Southern Oregon University's Schneider Children's Center at Ashland, Oregon. Whenever I'm attempting to get kids to dress, put coats on, sit on seats during foods and so forth, I'll inquire : 'Do you need me to assist you or do you do it yourself? ' Those words are like magic, promises Jones. The children always want to do it .
Winning Cooperation
Walk into almost any preschool class in the nation, and you'll see children sitting quietly in circles, forming orderly lines, increasing their hands to talk, passing out napkins and snacks. The question is: How do teachers do it? How do they make a dozen or more children under 4 to cooperate, voluntarily and happily? While there's no secret formula, most say: Praise is crucial, particularly if your child isn't in a cooperative phase. Attempt to catch her being good. Kids repeat behaviours that capture attention.
Avoid good-bye meltdowns
If your child is worried about spending time aside, give him something tangible to remind him of you. Let him carry your image; kiss on a tissue or cut out a paper heart and put it in his pocket. Having something physical to touch may help him feel anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.
Develop predictable patterns
Kids cooperate in college since they know what's expected of them, says Beth Cohen-Dorfman, educational planner at Chicago's Concordia Avondale Campus preschool. The kids follow basically the exact same routine day after day, and they quickly learn what they are supposed to be doing, and after some time barely need reminding. While it would be impractical to have the same amount of construction at home, the more consistent you are, the more concerted your kid is very likely to be, suggests Cohen-Dorfman. Decide on a few routines and stick with them: Everybody gets dressed before breakfast. As soon as we come in from outside, we wash our handson. No bedtime tales until all kids are in jammies. Eventually, following these home rules will become second nature to your child.
